Posts

re: these two lines in my writing: the drive there was fine. the time there was magical. There is a voice in my head that comes from one of my teachers - ‘i can’t picture magical…what does that look and smell and taste like?’ and to that voice i must say, idk! it’s magical! that is what it looks and smells and tastes like! words are carriers of meaning and feeling and so much else. their power comes in our having, simultaneously, a shared and unique understanding of them. ...

with context etc

i find myself having a little anger or something about there not being more ’engagement’ with my post yesterday. it was such a banger, i’m telling myself. i deserved it. there’s something so interesting there. the feeling of deserving something, of not getting my due? or getting what i was owed? of there being something wrong. of me being wrong as a reuslt. from where does your value come? this is the real question. ...

idk!

I want to share a mini breakthru I had yesterday at c4c when Nate told me “we just want to see how you think” we’d just finished a session on APIs and how to connect to stuff on the internet and i could tell that it hadn’t landed as well as I’d wanted, likely because there was a whole code for creatives API demo I chose to skip in the middle? or maybe it did land and i just have no idea? ...

but at least i’m here, writing. that feels really, really good. and new, because i haven’t been doing it. i was going to say ‘haven’t been able to do it,’ like i’m not the one making these decisions, which feels true, sometimes, yet very silly, now, to say. of course i decide. that’s the whole thing. every question is the same question: does free will exist? the answer, though, is tricky. it’s both yes and no, depending on the situation and how we feel about it. ...

I keep coming back to this idea of “alive software,” which I think is software that’s…well, alive, lol. Basically that means software that’s updating itself in real time based on how it’s being used. There’s a couple layers i see to this - one that’s simple and one that’s not. simple aliveness I’m building this orchestrator tool for all my claude code sessions called Boo. It’s a fork of Ghostty, hence the boo. ...

One post. That’s all it took. And now I want to write about everything. To every tiny idea or thought, my brain replies with “that’s a blog post.” I love that. I’ve missed that. And all it took was one little post: with a little help from my friends: and the clog is unclogged. Not that it was clogged. But sort of? More that it was briefly forgotten. Who cares. I am not here to diagnose the problem like some inspector with a clipboard. I’m here to celebrate the lack of one. ...

There are a few people in my life who inspire me back toward certain parts of myself, reliably and over the long life of…well, my life. One such person is Michael K Dean. His help is bringing me back toward the very thing i’m doing right now, writing, or ’logging’ as he calls it. Not for the orange stage of Substack and the millions of readers who eagerly await every word (sicc), but something more personal. Just thoughts, dumb little ideas, nothing more but also nothing less - meaning, they can and perhaps must be available for at least someone else to read. Whether or not they’re actually read by anyone doesn’t matter, but they could be. That matters. ...