but at least i’m here, writing. that feels really, really good. and new, because i haven’t been doing it.
i was going to say ‘haven’t been able to do it,’ like i’m not the one making these decisions, which feels true, sometimes, yet very silly, now, to say. of course i decide. that’s the whole thing.
every question is the same question: does free will exist?
the answer, though, is tricky. it’s both yes and no, depending on the situation and how we feel about it.
but still, now, i return to the idea that if there is no free will, if all is determined, then - THEN - we have ultimate choice. because in a world where there is no free will, there is the opportunity for pure free will. for only free will.
that’s the world.
idk. do these rambles make sense?
why don’t i write them more?
who cares, at least i’m writing them now.
and that feels really, really good.