re: these two lines in my writing:
the drive there was fine.
the time there was magical.
There is a voice in my head that comes from one of my teachers - ‘i can’t picture magical…what does that look and smell and taste like?’
and to that voice i must say, idk! it’s magical! that is what it looks and smells and tastes like!
words are carriers of meaning and feeling and so much else. their power comes in our having, simultaneously, a shared and unique understanding of them.
magical is both a specific words that connotes things we share - the unbelievable, the strange, the impossible - and specific things for each of us: harry potter, wizards, david blaine, copperfield, card tricks, whatever.
I guess i could pick one of those and go with it but that’d be…weird? like I was putting my thumb on the scale, like i was trying too hard.
so no, i don’t want to show you exactly waht magical means.
why am i writing this? is it a defensive screed? maybe, but also, it is a reminder and rationale for myself to help me remember that:
- I am allowed to write whatever I want
- the critical voices in my head, be they teachers or haters, are always going to be there but just because they are present does not mean they need to be listened to and acted upon.